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The Creation of the World
And God said, "Let there be vodka!"
And He saw it was good.
Then God said, "Let there be light!"
And then He said, "Whoa, too much light."
My house every Sunday morning. 
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I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Emo Philips
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