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Suzz04 · 06-26-2006, 10:40 AM

I would really love to talk to the oldest child. When I was with the family and with other visits of seeing her, she was a quite disturbed child. And, yes, the lady that we took our daughter to, I should say I took her to, was a pysch for small children. She recommended against the first 4 week visit at the age of 4.

I believe our child has issues. But, it's not the divorce that is the problem. She has been given answers that fit her age to understand over the years. She's got issues with him, I think. She's always talked about how she likes New York, but hates going there because if her sister isn't there, she's ignored. And, I know he ignores her. He still does it now. It's not something that has suddenly crept into our lives. He has been this way from the time she was born.

During our separation, he failed to keep in contact with her for a year. Then suddenly started calling once a week. Mind you, this started at the same time as the visitation issues were in court. I believe it may have been on the advice of his lawyer of phone records that he was keeping contact.

I have always wondered what he does to her when she's serious about something. I know that when I have tried to discuss her with him about serious things, he would laugh at me. He has always done that.

All I know on the oldest child is that she is somewhere west. That's all he could tell me. The younger one loves to talk to her sister and wants her to come visit. She really hoped that the oldest would be there this year, but her father finally admitted to her that he didn't know where she was.

The last talk those two girls had, the oldest told her that she was going to elope. The father was not to be told ever. The oldest does not want him there nor him to know. And I don't feel that I'm in the place to inform him of it. I'm sure if someone knew something like this on one of my children, I would want them to tell me. But, the little one was asked to promise to never tell. I would hate to be the cause of a broken promise between those two.

There have been times I have wished, sadly, that he wasn't in the picture anymore. It's been a aggravation each year with him that has made me a nervous wreck at times. Everyone that has known him and found out that I married him have all felt the same of him. They don't like him. Now, I'm not going to say that they said it for my sake, but, I doubt that unless it was a good friend it wouldn't have been said.

On a side note, my parents refuse to deal with him. He has pulled a few things that doesn't settle well with them. They don't talk about him. He's rarely discussed and if is, then she's not even with us. Alot of people don't even know the real reasons why I left. They all assumed that it was I met another man and wanted out. I have always been ashamed of my true reasons and will leave them with myself. The very few that do know aren't even sure how I survived the 2 years there.

Like alot of people, I'm sure they get tired of dealing with annoying, nerve grating people. Honestly, his voice over the phone sets me on each. Everytime he wants to speak to me, I cringe in horror at what he's going to spring on me next. Usually when he asks, it's to tell me something that's going to mess up plans, or something that is just plain silly.

I'm not going to say I'm the perfect parent, but I feel sometimes that even with just one child, I've done alot better than he has with two.

06-26-2006, 10:40 AM	#14 (permalink)
Suzz04 Crazy Location: Virginia	I would really love to talk to the oldest child. When I was with the family and with other visits of seeing her, she was a quite disturbed child. And, yes, the lady that we took our daughter to, I should say I took her to, was a pysch for small children. She recommended against the first 4 week visit at the age of 4. I believe our child has issues. But, it's not the divorce that is the problem. She has been given answers that fit her age to understand over the years. She's got issues with him, I think. She's always talked about how she likes New York, but hates going there because if her sister isn't there, she's ignored. And, I know he ignores her. He still does it now. It's not something that has suddenly crept into our lives. He has been this way from the time she was born. During our separation, he failed to keep in contact with her for a year. Then suddenly started calling once a week. Mind you, this started at the same time as the visitation issues were in court. I believe it may have been on the advice of his lawyer of phone records that he was keeping contact. I have always wondered what he does to her when she's serious about something. I know that when I have tried to discuss her with him about serious things, he would laugh at me. He has always done that. All I know on the oldest child is that she is somewhere west. That's all he could tell me. The younger one loves to talk to her sister and wants her to come visit. She really hoped that the oldest would be there this year, but her father finally admitted to her that he didn't know where she was. The last talk those two girls had, the oldest told her that she was going to elope. The father was not to be told ever. The oldest does not want him there nor him to know. And I don't feel that I'm in the place to inform him of it. I'm sure if someone knew something like this on one of my children, I would want them to tell me. But, the little one was asked to promise to never tell. I would hate to be the cause of a broken promise between those two. There have been times I have wished, sadly, that he wasn't in the picture anymore. It's been a aggravation each year with him that has made me a nervous wreck at times. Everyone that has known him and found out that I married him have all felt the same of him. They don't like him. Now, I'm not going to say that they said it for my sake, but, I doubt that unless it was a good friend it wouldn't have been said. On a side note, my parents refuse to deal with him. He has pulled a few things that doesn't settle well with them. They don't talk about him. He's rarely discussed and if is, then she's not even with us. Alot of people don't even know the real reasons why I left. They all assumed that it was I met another man and wanted out. I have always been ashamed of my true reasons and will leave them with myself. The very few that do know aren't even sure how I survived the 2 years there. Like alot of people, I'm sure they get tired of dealing with annoying, nerve grating people. Honestly, his voice over the phone sets me on each. Everytime he wants to speak to me, I cringe in horror at what he's going to spring on me next. Usually when he asks, it's to tell me something that's going to mess up plans, or something that is just plain silly. I'm not going to say I'm the perfect parent, but I feel sometimes that even with just one child, I've done alot better than he has with two. __________________ Quantum Cat Theory: Upon hearing the sound of a can being opened, it becomes possible for a cat to travel faster than the speed of light.