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I have been thinking alot about this thread and how I should reply. My husband was very happy with just one child, he did not want anymore. (I have video to prove he indeed was a happy, involved father when we only had our daughter). I always wanted to have 2. Not really sure what my reasons where, it was just something I felt in my heart. We had talked about it and agreed if we did have a second child it would have to wait until our daughter was in kindergarten and no longer needed daycare. I guess that gave my husband too long to think about it and he went back to only wanting the one. September 2001 rolls around (daughter was starting kindergarten September 2002) and the talks began again. I sat at the kitchen table and took off my fake nails, trying to show him that certain things can be given up so we can have another baby. I went to bed crying that night, he still said no. During the night, he came to bed and told me he wanted another. I didn't believe him until the next morning he told our daughter. We got pregnant 1 1/2 months later. Our son was born 1 month before our daughter went to kindergarten.
Jump ahead to the present. Our son is almost 4 now. My husband is not as involved with the kids as he used to be. Does he resent having our son? Did he lie to me way back then? He says he has not, but it makes you wonder. I probably could elaborate more on this. and I know you will say I should talk to him about it, but he does not share his feelings with me so easily. and really, it is too late now. Many times I feel if I had not convinced him to have another baby, things would be so different. Maybe my daughter would be happier, maybe our family would be happier.
I think my point is: if you really do not want another baby, then you should not have one. Do not tell her you do, if you know you really don't.
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"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras
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