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Originally Posted by Sultana
Exactly. This is why when you make friends, you do it incrementally. Once you think they may be a good friend, share a few things, see how it goes.
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[takes notes]
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There's no need to get verbal diarrhea and confess all one's sins and share every deep secret thing in one's heart right away. This takes time.
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Yes it does.
You know what's cool? There's an actual word for "verbal diarrhea", logorrhea.
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It never hurts to play your cards close to your chest. You can always say something, but you can never "un-say" something.
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Conversely, you don't want to overdo it in this direction, or you end up like me.
STEPHY, I can sympathize with what you're saying here. I personally have the opposite problem in that I have difficulty trusting anybody. There's nothing wrong with putting yourself and your feelings out there, sharing them with a friend to make them easier to deal with. If I didn't have my sister and my wife to do that with when things get difficult, I know I'd be in a difficult place.
You didn't do anything wrong sharing what you did with the person you thought was your friend. You made a mistake, and that's ok. You learned something about this woman you needed to know, and now you can move on. Don't give up the things you enjoy because of this. Make new friends, take Sultana's advice and move a little bit slower this time, and you'll eventually find that confidant you're looking for.
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Originally Posted by water_bug
That's why I tend to pour my heart out to strangers on line. Less chance of it coming back to get you in the end. Too many people have their own agendas in life. Hate to sound so pessimistic but it is hard to trust anyone.
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I sometimes put stuff in my journal here before I've even shared it with my therapist. The anonymity of the internet does enable one to be a little more brave than in real life, which breeds jerks sometimes, but it also allows for those of us who tend to close ourselves off to open up because it's safe.
Gilda