analog

Lots of people don't want to accept, or simply can't accept, that marriage CAN be work. It CAN be sacrifice. It CAN mean changing. If things need to change for a marriage to work, then so be it- the issue is that a lot of people look for the "easy way out", the quicker fix, of divorce. Especially where kids are involved, there is no "easy way out", but they are too lazy to make things work while they're still able to do so... because after a while, the relationship will suffer to the extent that it's virtually impossible to bring it back from the brink.

But you have the fight in you. You see your past mistakes, and you want to WORK and SACRIFICE to CHANGE things to make them better. You recognize it will take quite a lot to do it, and you're determined to keep at it. That alone is worth quite a lot.

And what you're seeing written in this thread is not "quit". It's not "give up". What you're seeing is "this is going to be hard," "it's going to be a long and painful road to recovery," and "keep at it or you'll never make it". That is not discouragment, it's the grit of the situation. It's the truth of how shitty your predicament is, and an honest appraisal of the work you're going to need to put into it. It's so far from "quit" that it's the exact opposite- fight.

Fight for your marriage. Fight for your kids. Fight for your love. If she tells you she doesn't have the love back, but lets you keep trying, it means she never fully lost the love- she's just keeping her guard up so you can't hurt her again until she's sure you won't. She's got to keep that heart of hers safe from you until she's positive you won't break it again- and that's all part of the healing.

- analog.