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I hear what the divorced people are saying. "Some people are happier after a divorce". I'm sorry but I don't buy that. Nobody is happy a relationship fails. I'm not unfamiliar with divorce. I'm the oldest of 5 and all of my siblings have been divorced. My sister has it down to a science, she's been divorced 3 times. Then looking at my wife's family, she is the youngest of 4. All of her siblings have also been divorced. My parents are divorced too. And I think only 2 of my friends have not been divorced. It's a very popular thing to be these days. My wife's friends almost 40 out hitting the bars saying how much fun it is to be free again. While their kids are at the sitters worried why mommy is puking when she got home. Proud moments there.
Generally here is how all those marriages went...... Hey we're having problems. Yeah and working them out is hard, I'd have to try and change something about myself. Marriage is hard. I know, let's not try and just get divorced, that way we don't have to try and fix the hard problems. Great, now I'm divorced and happy. Sure we shed a few tears but now that it's over and I didn't have to change I feel great calling him/her an asshole/bitch. Sure the kids were crushed but they'll adjust and be happier because we're happy. Sound familiar?
I'm not really stumbling around with my situation. I've given it a lot of thought and study. The real joke about the above scenario is that the problems they didn't work out just carry over to the next relationship. Hopefully you find a person the next time that can tolerate your issues. If not then like my sister they just happen all over again, and again. Excluding abusive relationships of course the people that really get hurt the most are the kids.
Think about it. If your marriage problems could be worked out would you get divorced? So what is so crazy about trying to work them out? I don't mean half-ass trying either, I mean really trying to make the person you once thought was the greatest person on earth love you again. I guess I'm being a bit defensive because I make a post about seeing a glimmer that things might be going well and the next person has to say, "Sorry to maybe break your dream - but be aware that somethings are so busted that they can't be sorted." I mean WTF? Spoken like a divorced person. Justifying what you've done feels too good I guess to not bring others down with you.
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