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The worst thing I have ever done...
I was in a relationship with a guy and it was totally unhealthy for me. The guy was a total asshole and a horrible boyfriend. Yet for some reason I could not get away from him! Even after moving down to school early and taking a two-week break from each other, we gravitated back together like magnets, and he started talking about getting back together (we'd done that several times by that point). So, wanting to be with him, I invited him to attend a party that some friends of mine were hosting. It was a big beginning-of-the-school-year bonanza with a bunch of friends I had made that were outside his sphere of influence (I had lost a lot of friends to him).
I walked in the door with him and the first thing I heard was, "OH MY GOD! S. BROKE THE TABLE!" My first thought was: Whoa, someone's already drunk--and who the fuck is S.? I look over to see this really adorable guy with this cute curly hair kind of slumped over on the couch. My friend Paul points him out and explains that's he's so-and-so's friend and a freshman. I am totally, completely smitten--despite the fact that my sort-of boyfriend is standing right next to me.
So I went wild. I was with good friends, friends who really cared for me, and I just went crazy! I got drunk, I flashed people, I made out with girls. Eventually sort-of boyfriend decided he'd had enough of it and split.
The party ended up lasting more or less all weekend--because some of us got together the next night after the football game and decided we wanted to hang some more. S. and I ended up hooking up, and I ended up taking him back to my place so he could crash. The same thing happened the next night.
Meanwhile, my sort-of boyfriend tried to get ahold of me. I came home from classes on Monday to several voicemails on phone and cellphone and several messages on AIM. He wanted to talk about it. My attitude was--what is there to talk about?
He came over to talk to me in person after I finally consented, and I was just a complete and total bitch. I told him I didn't care, I'd found something better, and that S. could do things for me that he couldn't. He asked if I wanted to be with S. more, and I said that yes, that was the case. He left in tears.
While it is the worst thing I've ever done, I don't feel bad about it, not one bit. And that wasn't even the last I saw of that bastard, unfortunately.
Strangely enough...S. is now my best friend, four years later!
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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