So, the story starts here, i broke up with my GF of 9 months, which was tough at the time with her saying "i need to be by myself for a while, and get my shit sorted", which was hard because i did love her. We did have a good relationship and i connected with her like i have with no one like her before, she is my first love. After we broke up i went over seas for a holiday to get my mind off her. Which didnt really work, all i could think about was her, while i was over there, which kinda ruined the trip tbh. But i was thinking, im gonna come back, express that i want her back, swoop her up, and fly away into the sunset and all would be back to normal.
Unfortunately this was not the case. I came back, and found she was already seeing someone else, her excuse was "im sorry but i cant help my feelings, it just happened." it felt like she had lied to me, and she left me for this guy, as it was only a month after we broke up.
This didnt do too much for my self esteem and i got quite sad about it all cause i still had strong feelings for her, she was still all i could really think about, and at the time i felt like a weirdo for not being able to get her out of my head.
We then had a big argument one night, as i said she owed me money, and shes a horrible person for lying to me and what not. Insert a few bad words in there aswell
. After that argument, i found out that the guy she got with, basically dumped her for not being up to his standards, which made me feel great at the time, u know, take that bitch for fucking me around! serves u right.
So a few months onwards, I thought i was over her, i hadnt talked to her in ages. So i moved on, and hooked into another girl, i thought this would make me feel better about myself. But i was not ready foranother relationship, this girl then fell for me and wanted to be in a relationship, but i told her i was not ready, and we havent realy talked much since. Another thing i noticed, the small time i spent with this "other" girl, i still occasionally thought about my ex.
Now is when things get difficult. We started talking about, we both apologised to each other for the big argument, and forgave each other. We talked about old times when we were together, and what were up to lately. After a few days of txting (sms to others?) and talking on msn, we decided to meet up, so i went around to hers and we watched a couple of movies, and we bonded, just like we did when we were together. I can feel my feelings coming back to her, as they were when we were together, and i think i want to give it one more go. After she broke up with the guy after me, she said how she misses having a bf, it came off like she regretted breaking up with me, but that could be me being optimistic.
BUT, there are a few obstacles...
1. I don't know if she feels the same, she did say the other day that she has been thinking about me (this was when we first started talking again), and that she sometimes thinks shes over me, but other times not.
2. My parents - After our argument, i talked to mum and dad saying how much of a bitch she is and rardy rardy ra. So i think if my mum saw me getting back with her, she would basically tell my ex to fuck off.
3. Her friends - i know they are fucked off at me for getting so agro after our break up, so that wouldnt make life easy.
4. My friends - They arent too fond of her now.
So basically, everything is telling me not to get back with her, becuase it would prolly just be a disaster, but i still want to, i mean, i really really want to.
Now im in a mood of dont let love pass me by, if i feel this strong for something, i shouldnt let it go, but on the other hand, im not sure, if we do get back together, it would be because she just wants to have someone, or whether she does care for me. I never realised how much i really did love her, till this break up.
What are your thoughts? i need someone from an outside perspective at things, rather than my one sided look just hoping for what i want.