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Originally Posted by Poppinjay
From my point of view, moving in at any time is crazy. I was exactly where you are before getting married. I liked my place, I liked being able to go get a paper and coffee every saturday morning, or being able to sit out on my balcony and generally be free.
I also loved my future wife and we moved in together an hour after getting married. Not one second before.
I have never understood what (barring obstacles such as finances or relocation) the whole appeal of co-habitation is. Is it the reduction of space? Is it the joy of having to be considerate of another person's concerns without any binding ties? Is it the handing your nuts over in a change purse?
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The reason I did it, and I'm glad I did, is to make sure that I'm compatible with the person, really compatible, before making that commitment. We dated for almost six years before moving in together, and since October, I've found out things that he wasn't sharing with me when we were just dating. Things that I don't want to spend the rest of my life dealing with.
If I had married him before moving in together, I wouldn't have known just how much my credit score would have gone down, just how much I would have had to take charge of the finances and treat him like a child when it comes to money, and just how much he actually doesn't want to have any more children. Honesty and full disclosure has to be a two way street, and I didn't know that he wasn't telling me everything. Things would have been a LOT messier had I found this out after we were legally connected, because I'm not willing to settle for a relationship like this, and won't accept it for the rest of my life.