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Originally Posted by Spaz007
With her recent mess up I see this as her being scared that you may cash in on the return soon and if she is there, she can cover her assets and make sure that it doesn't occur. *snip
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This sparked something in my brain... has she always been "slightly bossy," or is this a new thing since she cheated on you? If it's a new thing, or has intensified since the cheating, she may be acting like this to push you away, either because she's either afraid that you'll cheat on her to get back at her, or afraid that you'll break up with her because of it. Or she may be trying to "make you break up with her" by acting this way. That way, she's not the one who has to make the decision.
If this is a new thing, the ball is in your court. You can either let her push you away and break up with her, or you can confront/talk to/communicate with her, asking her why she's acting this way. She may not even be aware that she's doing this, and bringing it to the forefront of her mind may change her behavior, and things may be different.
One more thing... did you ever discover why she cheated on you? What was going through her head? There must be a reason, or she probably wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place. I doubt she'd do it "just because". I've cheated before, and I know why I did it, and told my bf why I did it, so we could learn and grow from it. If she doesn't know, and things don't change, it may happen again. If she can't tell you why (whether she herself knows or not), then you don't know what's wrong, and can't help the relationship by working on your end to fix it.