One of the nicest weddings I went to was at a country church with the 'reception' following on the church grounds. The bride's family all chipped in the food and the cake.
Now, I don't think you can entirely go by my experience, since it was SO long ago, but I too wanted the cheapest way without it looking cheap so I did these things(after all, you really just want to celebrate your love, not go bankrupt): my wedding dress was not a traditional wedding dress-it was a plain ivory bridesmaid's gown. Cost $85. No tux for the spouse-he wore his suit. Both the ceremony and the reception were held at the local Ramada Inn, which had a party planner on staff. As part of the wedding package, we got our room for the night and instead of a bridal party room (we only had my sister and his best friend as our wedding party), we made a deal for a whiskey sour fountain. We also did not hire a photographer; I asked everyone to bring their cameras and send me their negatives.
Guests generally give money as gifts. While you can't ask them too, keep in mind some of that might offset your costs. Total cost of our wedding was $3100; we got $2700 in gifts and my parents chipped in $1500, so we had some left over.
If you can go with any combo of Mal's and mine, it would well be worth it. Hotel deals of wedding packages are a good way to get everything done at once and save a bundle. I would certainly forego the fancy dresses, 27 bridesmaids and groomsmen, etc. After all, you want to enjoy your special party, not go crazy stressing over it!!
I think the single biggest and dumbest cost is the wedding gown. They're overpriced to begin with, generally fall apart before the last guest leaves and having them cleaned and boxed for....what?? is a secondary expenditure. Second would be the photographer.
Would an early congrats be out of line?
