Rodney

Too intense praise or flattery actually makes me withdraw, because I'm afraid someone's putting me on a pedestal I can't live up to. I know, poor self-esteem.

Obviously fake flattery doesn't do much for me: for example, I don't trust flattery from someone who has something to gain, or from someone who's very flattering and effusive before they even get to know you well. Used to know a guy who tried to make friends by flattering everyone around him, all the time. Once you were his "friend," however, you were supposed to listen to his nonstop rant about his life and feelings. His flattery was just a form of recruiting, as it were.

Of course there's that form of flattery called charm or charisma, in which a person uses body language, eye contact, and facial expression to make you feel like a very important and special person -- without saying much of anything. And that's a hard one to resist because it can be subtle. Some people are born to it, some learn a few tricks from the cheesier sort of personal development courses or books.

As others have said, actions speak louder than words. "You're doing a great job" isn't as sincere as "This is great. Can I help?"