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billege · 05-29-2006, 08:13 AM

Here's what happened when my wife and I thought about this same thing during our engaugement.

She asked me how I felt about her keeping her last name. I felt through my feelings and answered her after a while.

There's a certain part of me, ego, that wanted her to take my last name. There's also part of me that respects her heratage as I resepect my own. That part of me wanted her to keep her name if she wanted to.

The third part of me was basically practical. I've done some work in the "paper processing" area of a huge company's new hire process. From this processing work, I understand how much "fun" people with all thier cute names are. I mean "fun" in the "I have a spreadsheet of employee info I have to process" kind of way. The whole "lastname-lastname" bit is especially tiresome when it comes to form filling out. Soz, here's what I told her.

I said: honey, I'd like you to take my last name. both from ego and because it's a tradition I kind of like. It's a naming convention that shows we're together as a couple. However, if you want to keep your last name, that's really fine too. The only thing I don't want to do is hypehnate, because that's just awkward when it comes to filling out paperwork.

She suggested I could take her name...and I considered it as an option. We ended up talking through why we thought people take last names, or don't take them. What worked for the two of us was her decision to take my last name.

I think the more we talked about the various options available to us, the more we realized that it didn't mean a whole lot to us either way; that it was just paperwork, not who we are.

05-29-2006, 08:13 AM	#82 (permalink)
billege Watcher Location: Ohio	Here's what happened when my wife and I thought about this same thing during our engaugement. She asked me how I felt about her keeping her last name. I felt through my feelings and answered her after a while. There's a certain part of me, ego, that wanted her to take my last name. There's also part of me that respects her heratage as I resepect my own. That part of me wanted her to keep her name if she wanted to. The third part of me was basically practical. I've done some work in the "paper processing" area of a huge company's new hire process. From this processing work, I understand how much "fun" people with all thier cute names are. I mean "fun" in the "I have a spreadsheet of employee info I have to process" kind of way. The whole "lastname-lastname" bit is especially tiresome when it comes to form filling out. Soz, here's what I told her. I said: honey, I'd like you to take my last name. both from ego and because it's a tradition I kind of like. It's a naming convention that shows we're together as a couple. However, if you want to keep your last name, that's really fine too. The only thing I don't want to do is hypehnate, because that's just awkward when it comes to filling out paperwork. She suggested I could take her name...and I considered it as an option. We ended up talking through why we thought people take last names, or don't take them. What worked for the two of us was her decision to take my last name. I think the more we talked about the various options available to us, the more we realized that it didn't mean a whole lot to us either way; that it was just paperwork, not who we are. __________________ I can sum up the clash of religion in one sentence: "My Invisible Friend is better than your Invisible Friend."