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I agree with ratbastid that this sounds like a form of sex addiction. I have read about this and sex acts as a "comfort" though it doesn't actually give you what you may want (something like comfort eaters), which could be anything from attention, love, someone to stand by you and make you feel loved, or just to boost your self-esteem. Sex addiction is often linked to other factors in your life, like s trauma of some kind. Seeking counselling is hard because it means you have to finally admit to yourself that there is a problem. But that is also the first way to start sorting it out. I hope you look for help soon. Till then, please feel free to share with us on TFP and we will help you in what we can.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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