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I'd say that what you did is what you did. Guilt aside, you might wanna look into the low self-esteem rather than your wild night.
Fix that and I think the wild night will be a thing from the past.
What I can tell you, is "do it again to see if it works this time" will never work.
It's not something that will boost your self-esteem, and even helps to lower it, as you said yourself.
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Moderation should be moderately moderated.
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