Thanks all for the wonderful help!
VERy great ideas and i'm sure they'll work! I just need the encouragement, that stern push to do them.
The problem is that i'm terrified of working..TERRIFIED!! I feel like i'm going to make a fool of myself and make evryone laugh at me..I feel like I'm gonna be the one everyone picks on and will be a disgrace to the boss or something.
Some people told me to go to companies straight and see if they have work and I'm not the type that can do that. I tried doing it and really made a fool of myaself..I felt so small as if i'm a beggar.
I have low self esteem so I'm not sure of any good quality, even my good qualities turn against me...I'm too nice, I like helping, so if i'm asked for help, I go out of the way just to help, even if it means that it will be losses for me. I've found that peope take advantage of me.
As for being fit, i really dont like the fact of being seen as nice by how much I weigh and so I really won't want to be fit just to feel better of myself, b/c right now...even going to a gym means that i'll need to have a job first.
I even find it easier to write someone an email than calling them...I've tried talking with groups, but I go so tongue tied I didn't even complete what i was saying and they just started saying other stuff...I meabn, sometimes this makes people not even hear me...I even sometimes feel that my presence is not even made known that even when I do talk no one pays attention.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Communication is sooooooooooooooo hard!!!!!!!!!