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Heh. You sound just like me, especially the me of a couple of years ago... At one point my esteem was so bad, I didn't even leave the house during the day, because I felt like I was so fucking ugly people were staring at me down their noses. I knew that wasn't true, but I felt like it anyway...
I still have some esteem issues and stuff, but I've gone through a major change in this regard. All thanks to the fact that I got a job that I am good at and can do. I may hate it (the job, not the work), but it has brought me out to talk to people, as I have had to communicate with dozens of people on a daily basis, and so on.
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Who is John Galt?
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