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Originally Posted by lurkette
Proceed with caution...it's not such a big deal right now because the kid is quite young, but don't get involved if you're not serious. There's nothing to fuck up a kid like people wandering in and out of their life. While you're dating, make sure both of you know exactly where things stand. This is not casual fling territory. Add to that the fact that you work together, and things could get very complicated.
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i'll have to, respectfully, disagree with that.
just because a female produces offspring does not mean she is eternally bound to relationships of the serious and/or 'traditional' sort.
also, people come in and out of children's lives, just as they do yours. it is all in how he would be introduced/portrayed in that child's life.
if he was taking on a fatherly role, then yes, of course,... it would be very important to proceed with caution and, as a parent/child relationship develops with the child, it would become important to maintain that and not dump the kid just cause things dodn't work out between the adults.
BUT- he is considering dating this woman... not becoming her life partner and raising her child with her. she could very well have the 'father' base covered with the child's biological father, anyways, and not even remotely want smooth23 to attempt that role. even if the child's father is not in his/her life, he cannot assume that she wants a father figure for her child, just as he cannot assume she wants a serious relationship. millions of healthy, happy kids are raised in single parent homes everyday.
as i'm sure you know, smooth23, EVERYONE is different.
you'd do best to ask her how she actually feels about things and what she wants, rather than relying on any social stereotypes or preconcieved notions.
(or what anyone, including me, says on this board
- it's a good way to toss around thoughts and explore diff. perceptions, but the answers you seek can only be obtained from the one you desire.)