|
Two things.
First off, you've changed your relationship now. You can't take back what's been done; that's not to say that you're never going to have that level of comfort again, but it's not like it was anymore. What may come may be better or worse than what has been, but it's not going to be exactly the same. Such is life.
And the second point, the one that really matters... you need to stop and take a moment to figure out what you want out of this relationship. If she says she's not ready for commitment, you have to learn to be okay with that. She may be ready tomorrow, or she may never be ready. And, as hard as I know it is for you to hear it, when she is ready for commitment it may not be with you.
Is it really friendship you're seeking? You say that you still love her and I get the idea that you're holding out hope that you'll get back together. If you want things to be okay, you need to let go of that. If you need to, explain to her that you're feeling conflicted and need a few weeks to sort yourself out. Take some time apart from her and try to get a bit of perspective on the situation. The fact is that you may never get back together and you can't sit around waiting for it to happen. Even if you never once mention it, the very fact that you have those feelings is always going to be looming overhead and will always be between the two of you. If you want her as a friend, then that's what she has to be.
Stop waiting for her. She may never be yours again.
__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
|