Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - I can never give him enough, and it's depressing me.

rsl12 · 04-27-2006, 11:32 AM

Replying a bit late, but a couple of things:

1. Based on that IM snippet you posted, sounds like your guy is largely at fault for putting a big-time guilt trip on you. He went on about how it's natural to have a strong sex drive (ergo, it's unnatural not to have a strong sex drive, and you, therefore are unnatural). He says he's tired of waiting all the time, but that it's not your fault. That's passive-aggressive guilt trip if I've ever heard one. I feel your pain when you talk about the pressure he's putting on you--that kind of pressure would freak me out too. It's really a turn-off.

2. Is it sex just with this one guy or is it sex in general? If he was considerate, he'd be going nice and gentle, not banging so deeply it hurts you.

3. There are alternatives to vaginal sex. I was in a year-long "celibate" relationship with a girl (she had emotional issues with actual sex), and we managed to do OK by my book. We did some very creative things, and I learned a few good tricks! Our equivalent of the "missionary" position was her on her belly, and I riding against the crack of her behind (with plenty of lube) and reaching my hand around to touch her where needed. It felt very good for me (the first few times, in fact, I was afraid I had accidentally slipped in, it felt so good), and I assume that the pain issues you talk about would not be an issue. I know that handjobs were mentioned earlier--why don't you think you would be good? Doesn't it sound like fun to try? Or does your guy poo-poo anything but penis-vagina sex?

4. Trying to change your sex drive is like trying to change your favorite ice cream flavor. I guess it might be possible, but more than likely, the best you can do is fool yourself. You have some emotional issues you say, but consider the possibility that you are innately a low-sex-drive type of person. You love the guy and are willing to give him what you can--great. But if it means raw chafing of your insides, that sounds like a terrible deal, particularly when there are ways to satisfy him that don't cause you pain (assuming, of course, he's an open-minded guy willing to take sex in other forms than penis-in-vagina).

04-27-2006, 11:32 AM	#146 (permalink)
rsl12 On the lam Location: northern va	Replying a bit late, but a couple of things: 1. Based on that IM snippet you posted, sounds like your guy is largely at fault for putting a big-time guilt trip on you. He went on about how it's natural to have a strong sex drive (ergo, it's unnatural not to have a strong sex drive, and you, therefore are unnatural). He says he's tired of waiting all the time, but that it's not your fault. That's passive-aggressive guilt trip if I've ever heard one. I feel your pain when you talk about the pressure he's putting on you--that kind of pressure would freak me out too. It's really a turn-off. 2. Is it sex just with this one guy or is it sex in general? If he was considerate, he'd be going nice and gentle, not banging so deeply it hurts you. 3. There are alternatives to vaginal sex. I was in a year-long "celibate" relationship with a girl (she had emotional issues with actual sex), and we managed to do OK by my book. We did some very creative things, and I learned a few good tricks! Our equivalent of the "missionary" position was her on her belly, and I riding against the crack of her behind (with plenty of lube) and reaching my hand around to touch her where needed. It felt very good for me (the first few times, in fact, I was afraid I had accidentally slipped in, it felt so good), and I assume that the pain issues you talk about would not be an issue. I know that handjobs were mentioned earlier--why don't you think you would be good? Doesn't it sound like fun to try? Or does your guy poo-poo anything but penis-vagina sex? 4. Trying to change your sex drive is like trying to change your favorite ice cream flavor. I guess it might be possible, but more than likely, the best you can do is fool yourself. You have some emotional issues you say, but consider the possibility that you are innately a low-sex-drive type of person. You love the guy and are willing to give him what you can--great. But if it means raw chafing of your insides, that sounds like a terrible deal, particularly when there are ways to satisfy him that don't cause you pain (assuming, of course, he's an open-minded guy willing to take sex in other forms than penis-in-vagina). __________________ oh baby oh baby, i like gravy. Last edited by rsl12; 04-27-2006 at 11:34 AM..