Your emotions and responces are justified. I am sure this is how I would have behaved if I were in your shoes.
Once you feel a little better about this please consider these questions.
What will lowering her self-esteem accomplish? Do you think low self worth will help her on the third attempt?
How can you get involved in helping her improve her performance? Not with words but though actions.
Do you believe that she wen't shopping to "reward herself"? Would it have helped her to sit at home and become emotionally distressed over her failure?
Why do you want to punish her, and why do you think she should be punishing herself? How will it help? What is to be won?
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