Ten years ago I was nine. I was ridiculously happy, spending almost all of my free time with my best friends. I was the smartest kid in my class and got E for excellent in all subjects.
Five years ago I was in grade nine. I had just come out to my friends, and almost everyone was cool with it. I cut off my hair to show my dykiness, but was offended whenever anyone mentioned how it made me look queer. I stopped hanging around with most of the people I had spent the past five years with in exchange for people who were smarter and nerdier, music council and writer's block. I dated a boy and nearly broke his heart, then dated another boy and broke his confidence. Then I did it again to both of them. They're two of my best friends now. I was still smarter than most of the people in my classes.
Five years from now, hopefully I'll be freshly out of teacher's college, but I have my doubts. Maybe I'll finally open the sex-ed and toy shop I've been dreaming about. Hopefully I'll be engaged or married to Simon.
Ten years from now I'll either be teaching or running the sex-ed centre. I'll have a kid or two, and maybe a house with a gigantic mortgage. I'll be growing plants either way. Maybe some herbs and veggies and definitely some flowers. I think I'll be mostly happy, but probably dissatisfied. Everyone is dissatisfied at 29, right?
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who am I to refuse the universe?
-Leonard Cohen, Beautiful Losers
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