Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - I have a small penis, so I'm killing myself.

BigBen · 04-21-2006, 07:53 AM

Have I told this story before?

My bunk mate on Basic training, Private Steve (Yeah, I know I told THAT story) was a freak of nature.

We quickly nicknamed him "Tarzan", because his dick was so big you could swing from one end of the barracks to the other on it. It was past his KNEE, for fuck sakes.

Consequently, the males on course (myself included) had a meeting where we discussed the issue.

"I thought I was okay, but help me out here, guys. That thing is nowhere near normal, right?" I was hoping that I had not been totally misinformed.

There were nods of agreement, and encouragement.

His cock hung out of the leg hole of our issued boxers. He couldn't help it.

Well, when we got back from training, we were at a bar. There was a table of girls we were sitting with, and I casually said, "Hey Tarzan, go get me a beer. It is your turn to buy the round."

Steve gladly agreed, and walked away after ensuring that noone else wanted anything.

One of the girls (The most outgoing one) asked "Hey, how did he get the nickname Tarzan?" I guess the ladies thought that he would be muscular and rugged and outdoorsy. I set the record straight before Steve came back from the bar, including a rough estimate of length using my arm as a prop. The girls blushed and giggled, and a couple pairs of eyes got big.

Steve returned to the table, and noone would make eye contact with him. I bust out laughing, and he said "What?" simply. Was there a joke that he missed?

Well, Tarzan spent the next two weeks with each one of those girls. They had him and passed him off to the next girl in line. One girl said to me "He is just too good not to share. Every woman on earth should experience him. Seriously."

So yeah. What do you say to that?

Size doesn't matter, size doesn't matter. I talked with Steve later, and he told me that he has some tricks. Maybe it is the tricks, instead of the half metre of pipe he was swinging.

Oh, and he used to do this funny thing where he would tuck his monster between his legs and get on all fours, and would pretend he was a dog and bark and shit. His cock looked like a tail. He called it "The Bulldog".

Ladies and gentlemen, I have seen some weird things in my life. Just wait until I write a book.

04-21-2006, 07:53 AM	#10 (permalink)
BigBen Comedian Location: Use the search button	Have I told this story before? My bunk mate on Basic training, Private Steve (Yeah, I know I told THAT story) was a freak of nature. We quickly nicknamed him "Tarzan", because his dick was so big you could swing from one end of the barracks to the other on it. It was past his KNEE, for fuck sakes. Consequently, the males on course (myself included) had a meeting where we discussed the issue. "I thought I was okay, but help me out here, guys. That thing is nowhere near normal, right?" I was hoping that I had not been totally misinformed. There were nods of agreement, and encouragement. His cock hung out of the leg hole of our issued boxers. He couldn't help it. Well, when we got back from training, we were at a bar. There was a table of girls we were sitting with, and I casually said, "Hey Tarzan, go get me a beer. It is your turn to buy the round." Steve gladly agreed, and walked away after ensuring that noone else wanted anything. One of the girls (The most outgoing one) asked "Hey, how did he get the nickname Tarzan?" I guess the ladies thought that he would be muscular and rugged and outdoorsy. I set the record straight before Steve came back from the bar, including a rough estimate of length using my arm as a prop. The girls blushed and giggled, and a couple pairs of eyes got big. Steve returned to the table, and noone would make eye contact with him. I bust out laughing, and he said "What?" simply. Was there a joke that he missed? Well, Tarzan spent the next two weeks with each one of those girls. They had him and passed him off to the next girl in line. One girl said to me "He is just too good not to share. Every woman on earth should experience him. Seriously." So yeah. What do you say to that? Size doesn't matter, size doesn't matter. I talked with Steve later, and he told me that he has some tricks. Maybe it is the tricks, instead of the half metre of pipe he was swinging. Oh, and he used to do this funny thing where he would tuck his monster between his legs and get on all fours, and would pretend he was a dog and bark and shit. His cock looked like a tail. He called it "The Bulldog". Ladies and gentlemen, I have seen some weird things in my life. Just wait until I write a book. __________________ 3.141592654 Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.