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You mentioned your warm relationship with her mother. Could you talk to her about this problem? I don't mean in any uncomfortable detail; just that a conversation with her could give you some added insight into your wife's state of mind. Her mother knows her better than anyone, and maybe they've been talking about this already. Your mother in law could act as an intermediary, no? After all, she wants her daughter to be happy too.
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Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life
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