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Originally Posted by Infinite_Loser
Recently my girlfriend of two years cheated on me. I won't bore you with a long-winded, sad story because really there is none. It was her fault as much as mine. I'm over the fact that she cheated on me but the thing that's messing me up is this.
I want to hear EVERY single gory detail of the incident (What they did, how they did it, how many times they did it and so on and so forth). It's not like I want to know to get off on it or something, but it's running through my head over and over and over again. I don't have any hostile feelings towards her but damn it, I wanna' know the details. I guess my thinking is that if she just gives me the details that I won't sit here making up images of what I think happened. I could ask her but then she might think me crazy or something.
So my question is if this is a normal reaction or just plain freaky?
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Emphasis mine.
Sounds to me like you're not over it. If you were over it, you wouldn't be obsessing about it still. I know when she cheated on me, I wanted every detail for three reasons. When someone says 'I cheated on you' or 'I messed around with someone', it's a pretty vague indicator. What's left in the blanks can make a huge difference. I'm going to care a lot less if you drunkenly kissed a guy in a bar one night than if you spent a week with Sergio in the Italian Alps. Might not make a difference to you, but might make a difference to me. Second, I wanted to see how sorry she was. I'm thinking if she is pretty comfortable sharing all the gory details with me she isn't very sorry for whatever happened. And third, it hurts your ego a bit, I remember thinking where do I fall so short that she had to go to someone else. Sort of an indicator for myself where I'm apparently lacking. I think that last one was probably a better reason to not ask, but I wasn't of totally sound mind at the time, terrible upsetting news and what-not...
Anyway, I got all the details, it didn't drive me any more batty than when I first found out and I'm glad I did it. Much less scared of the known than the unknown and all that. You need to look at yourself figure out why you want to ask and make sure you're going to able to handle it.