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SirLance · 04-12-2006, 06:01 AM

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they got together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, on crutches, his arm in a sling, with various bandages, spoke first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him, and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb! The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, an arm and both legs in casts, and with an intraveneous drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me, so I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul! And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of time praising Jesus. YEA brother!"

They both turned to the rabbi who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction, with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi squinted up at them and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start things out with my bear...."

04-12-2006, 06:01 AM	#1 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Converting a Bear A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it. Seven days later, they got together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, on crutches, his arm in a sling, with various bandages, spoke first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him, and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb! The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation." Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, an arm and both legs in casts, and with an intraveneous drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me, so I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul! And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of time praising Jesus. YEA brother!" They both turned to the rabbi who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction, with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi squinted up at them and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start things out with my bear...." __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.