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Now that you included more info I tend to agree with what mixedmedia said. I definately think he is having some self esteem issues. He is home all day with nothing to do, I know when this happens to me I also spend a lot of time on the net. If he is looking at porn and masturbating then also definately his sex drive would more then likely decrease as he is already satisfied by the time you come around wanting sex.
I suggest that you do seek counseling as your situation does sound different then mine was. I don't think the issue is so much with you as it might be with your husband and what he has going on.
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