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1. I have a Hispanic last name.. so of course I speak fluent Spanish.
2. Grew up in California, so of course I surf.
3. Play computer games, so I'm pale, out of shape, and living in my mother's basement.
4. Love shooting firearms, so I'm violent, bloodthirsty, paranoid, and have bambi's mom hanging on my wall.
5. Work at a major software company.. see #3
6. Since I work for said software company, of course I can easily tell you how to fix the problem you're having with any product that company has developed.
7. Oh and yes, of course I know your <distant relative/acquaintance/friend of a friend> who also works there.
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