noodle

Such a thought provoking thread, Sweetpea. I'm a social worker. If people didn't need me, I'd be out of a job. And frequently, they need me. After awhile, I've found that I can get quite resentful of the people that need me to overfunction for them. Meeting simple needs is quite fulfilling for me.

Being needed on a constant basis contributed to a huge bout of compassion fatigue that I went through earlier in the year. I was overwhelmed at work by five different families that seemed to need something every single day. I set some boundaries, encouraged self-sufficiency, and now they call when they want my help.

As for personal relationships, I'm learning new things on a daily basis, having found myself back in my on-again, off-again relationship. The previous time we'd broken up, I realized I didn't need him, that I could live without him quite easily, but I didn't want to. When I was able to verbalize it to him and smack myself upside the head, things went much smoother. And luckily for both of us, he came to the same conclusion for himself. I'm in a healthy, non-needy relationship and I love it. Had I not been so needy for something from him to validate myself, we might not have been through the bumps in the past few years. I love to be wanted. I love that he comes home and sees me out for physical contact of any kind because he wants to be near me for a few minutes. I also like that he doesn't need me like he used to--as his coping mechanism. That we've both graduated from needing each other like a drug, to wanting to be around each other... but not 24/7. I can't handle that at work and then again at home.

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