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I like being useful and appreciated. Does that mean I like being needed and wanted? Maybe, to some extent. Does it mean that I don't see the need for boundaries on either of those things? No. I do see the need for boundaries, probably above everything else.
But I still think it's okay that I desire to feel useful and appreciated by people other than myself (though the self's value is most important), and I try to ask for these things in a fair manner if I feel I am being denied them. This happened most recently with my boss (on Monday), and I am very glad I stood up for myself at last. It happens at times with ktspktsp (both ways) when we take each other for granted. It doesn't happen so much with my parents, though I wish it would... they are just too much in their own world to recognize what goes on in mine.
I would venture to say that need and want are cultural universals. It's funny how we sit around and debate the difference between the two... a result of the Western preoccupation with mental health, I suppose. (Not a bad thing, just pointing out that this kind of debate probably only happens for Western people who are middle-class and higher. I'd guess that most of the poor just plain *need* each other, to survive and to not go insane, because they cannot have most of what they *want.*) Maslow's hierarchy of need... no pun intended.
But perhaps I have digressed (thanks to my social networks analysis course this afternoon)...
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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