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Originally Posted by Gilda
We do all of these things even when we aren't being sexual with each other. We each make an effort to treat the other like a best friend. Now this last element *might* be one that's more common to lesbian relationships. I know it's not uncommon, but I've also encountered descriptions of hetero relationships where the couple were each other's best friends. However, best friends seems to be one of those things that tends to be more common among same sex relationships, which might give Grace and I a head start in the friendship part. We can relate to each other as women and as companions and as lovers.
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I definitely consider my SO my closest friend. I have three friends beyond my SO I call my best friends, but he is the closest to me out of all of them. I love that we can do things that friends do and talk like friends do. It makes our relationship feel stronger.
I suppose I had a positive example in my parents--no matter what, they were always each others' bestest friend. Mom says that being best friends with Dad got her through some of the toughest times of their marriage. It gave her something more to work for. And yes, love and marriage are work.
Love is like a garden; you reap what you sow, and it takes constant tending. Loving another is like having to maintain that garden together. It takes communication, commitment, and a common goal to make the garden grow. Without those things, it fails.
Love is a feeling, but keeping the feeling around takes work.