Pleading your case...
A man arrives in Heaven appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter looks over his paperwork. The guy looks OK, but he wants to be sure. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man replies. "On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers threatening a young woman. I warned them to leave her alone."
"That's impressive," the gatekeeper says. "Then what happened?"
"Well, they wouldn't back off, so I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now back off, biker boy, or you'll answer to me!"
"That's really brave," St. Peter said, clearly impressed. "But I don't have it in your paperwork. When did this happen?"
"Let's see," the man says, looking at his watch. "About a minute and a half ago."
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