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Old 03-30-2006, 08:04 PM   #12 (permalink)
Suzz04
Crazy
 
Location: Virginia
I've been cheated on. Twice. Two different relationships however. My first "cheat" was when I was in high school. I left the guy and never looked back.

My second "cheat" is my current and steadily holding strong. This September will be 5 years for us. Our episode happened alittle over two years ago. Why did I stay? Because I truly do love him. For all his faults, I've accepted the good with the bad. However, to gain back trust, I'm allowed to access to his emails, messenger and such. After about 6 months, I quit looking. Every now and then, I have to access his email, but, it's usually when we have a parts order and I have to deal with the screw up of who we ordered from.

Over the two years, we communicate more than we ever did in the first two years. In a way, it made us stronger in ways. I'm not going to sit and defend him for what happened. We stayed apart for a couple of months without talking. One day we decided to get the stuff returned between us of what we had and it went from there. We talked trying to understnad the other.

I'm not second best. I'm not a spare. He spent time trying to explain to me why he did it and apologized. And, I have to agree, with what happened I would have done the same thing. Actually, I did do the same thing. His "first" love came into contact with him and he couldn't resist. I had the similiar problem after I left my ex-husband.

When they say, you can never go back. It doesn't always mean about home. Those people you were once in love with and how you remember them, they aren't always the same way. Time changes alot of people and our memory of them is completely skewered from what they are now.

Am I excusing him for what he did? No. Do I forgive him? Yes. Do I hold any grudge? No. Do we talk about it now? Not really... we get the giggles about it sometimes when something reminds of us of that time frame.

I never have been a grudge holding non forgiving person. If he was to do it all over again, I have to say his ass would be kicked out and I'd make sure that he understood that I wouldn't want to see a hair of him ever again. And he actually already knows that a second time won't happen.

God... I'm such a rambler!
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