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Originally Posted by willravel
It ain't dissonance. It's actually closer to reading a fiction book. I read Dune, for example. I enjoyed the book emensly. The story was brilliant, the characters were well developed, the environment was astounding. Woudl I want to be on Arakis? Hell no. There is a fundamental distinction between a person's perspective on a world they know is ficticious, and the real world (just ask Neo). When one is immerced in a ficticous scenereo, like enjoying two women going at it, there is only a partial emmersion into that reality. We always have roots in the real world. Because of this, we can tweak the rules and even ignore rules such as morality and judgment from others. I occasionally look at pornography. I do find women other than my wife attractive. Does that mean I'm going to cheat on my wife? Jebus, no! I love my wife more than anything in the world, AND I think she is the hotttest woman I've ever seen. Despite that I do occasionally look at pictures of naked women. I don't have a stash or anything, but I am human.
Porn is not a dream, it's a fantisy. Dreams are things that you want to come true. Fantisies are things to enjoy for a memont and then return to reality.
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I don't think this analogy applies to sexual fantasies. I loved reading dune too but it didn't give me a woody. If you get turned on by the thought of your woman with another woman, she wants to do it as well, why not? This isn't a fantasy in the fictional magic sense. The difference between a sexual fantasy and reality is about 30 minutes of your time and a willing participant or two, or three..well you get the idea.
Using your analogy the reason you watch a porn is the same as you watch Citizen Cane. The motivations are completely different though.
If you have a strong relationship, and you don't define it based on sex, living out your fantasies together can be not only 'fun' but make your relationship even stronger. Christian forced monogamy is not the natural human state, and leads to a great deal of unnecessary strife. Everyone has their limits, but if you both want to try something, why not do it?
I really think its kind of sad that people are so worried about being themselves sexually, and so confined by jealousy and insecurity that they are missing out on a really wonderful part of life. Slaying the green eyed monster and getting to know your partner loves YOU for who you are not because they are your sperm depository is really a great feeling.