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Originally Posted by abaya
So considering your responses, would most of you not want your fantasies to come true?
I ask because I watch porn and fantasize a great deal, but I guess I tend to watch porn/fantasize about things that I would find hot in real life, too (e.g. I don't watch BDSM, etc because it would turn me off in real life), so maybe my porn tastes are different. I would find it weird fantasizing about something that would actually turn me off in real life, which is why I'm trying to understand the guy's point of view here.
I do understand what you guys are saying... my boyfriend and I had a discussion about this in the car last night, and he said many of the same things. I'm saying most of these things just for the sake of seeing what other guys say, and if there is some consistency to perception of fantasy vs. reality for men/women.
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While gender roles are blurring as of late, the way I was raised was raised in society was fundamentally different than the way I would have been raised had I not been born with a Y chromosome. Anyone old enough to be on TFP was born in or before the 1980s, so we were raised thinking "Playboy is cool for boys, porn is bad for girls." Although many women have found and enjoyed porn since their early adolecense, the way society (and I realize I am making generalities, but bear with me) putys us i our place does play some role in the differences betwen how you see porn and how I and other men see porn.
Pornography - at least for men - is about two things: escapism and libido. Escapism is what I outlined above; it's like reading a fiction book. There is an element of suspense in entering a world strange to your own. In this world social norms and morality are relative, and are certianly different than the rules of reality. I have never had a pizza delivered by a sexy blond who decides to stick around and enjoy 2 hours of my time - if you know what I mean. This is not reality, and because many men are accustomed to pornography they have learned to seperate the rules of the fiction from the rules of reality. That being said, it is enjoyable to enter the world pornography creates. In this world the libido is satiated before morality and social norms. If one feels like having sex, one simply does (with whoever, whenever). This is fun, because the libido usually takes a back seat to morality. My morality keeps me from cheating. If my libido called the shots, I very well could cheat.