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Originally Posted by abaya
There seems to be a case of cognitive dissonance going on with some men here... those who like fantasizing, but who would actually be turned off if that fantasy came true. I guess my understanding of fantasies was that fantasy = dream that you want to come true. If you dream about doing it and it turns you on, then wouldn't it be an even bigger turn-on to actually DO it in real life? I mean, why else would you fantasize about something if the reality didn't turn you on? Thus I don't understand why some men would dream about their wife being with another woman and then get jealous when an opportunity to fulfill that dream came true.
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It ain't dissonance. It's actually closer to reading a fiction book. I read Dune, for example. I enjoyed the book emensly. The story was brilliant, the characters were well developed, the environment was astounding. Woudl I want to be on Arakis? Hell no. There is a fundamental distinction between a person's perspective on a world they know is ficticious, and the real world (just ask Neo). When one is immerced in a ficticous scenereo, like enjoying two women going at it, there is only a partial emmersion into that reality. We always have roots in the real world. Because of this, we can tweak the rules and even ignore rules such as morality and judgment from others. I occasionally look at pornography. I do find women other than my wife attractive. Does that mean I'm going to cheat on my wife? Jebus, no! I love my wife more than anything in the world, AND I think she is the hotttest woman I've ever seen. Despite that I do occasionally look at pictures of naked women. I don't have a stash or anything, but I am human.
Porn is not a dream, it's a fantisy. Dreams are things that you want to come true. Fantisies are things to enjoy for a memont and then return to reality.