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There seems to be a case of cognitive dissonance going on with some men here... those who like fantasizing, but who would actually be turned off if that fantasy came true. I guess my understanding of fantasies was that fantasy = dream that you want to come true. If you dream about doing it and it turns you on, then wouldn't it be an even bigger turn-on to actually DO it in real life? I mean, why else would you fantasize about something if the reality didn't turn you on? Thus I don't understand why some men would dream about their wife being with another woman and then get jealous when an opportunity to fulfill that dream came true.
I do understand that selfishness is part and parcel of most relationships, and that partners have the right to exert control on their wives/husbands if the partner is uncomfortable with certain acts. But I would be confused and frustrated if my partner got very turned on by watching lesbian porn, but then controlled my exploration of that very scene because he couldn't handle it. It just seems like there's major cognitive dissonance or something going on there...
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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