abaya

I have to say, I do not think getting an abortion is an easy choice whatsoever. I think that in the moment the mother decides to abort, and every moment after that for the rest of her life, she is dealing with the consequences of getting pregnant. So I agree with you, Charlatan, that having an abortion IS dealing.

However, my only point is that the whole thing could be avoided. It is an unnecessary "consequence," particularly in the case of a woman who can afford birth control and has the power to demand that her husband wears condoms. (I think it is a far different discussion if the woman is a teen, poor, minority, has no power in relationship to men, etc).

Then again, yes, mistakes do happen... but in my clearly ideal world, I wish people could wait to have sex until they were mature enough to handle what comes their way. (I realize I speak from a privileged position because ktspktsp and I were both 24 when we lost our virginity, and I waited all those years because I did not want to fuck up my life by having sex when I wasn't ready.)

I do understand the whole choice thing (again, I am pro-choice). If my mother had decided to do that, what could I possible say to her? People do what they need to do. But I think that what many people are saying here (and also not saying) is that they *feel* they would have missed out on something, even if they did support their mother in making that decision. And I think it's important to validate those feelings, even if they may seem irrational. Feelings usually are that way.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran