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Get some hardtack. I'm not sure if that's an actual product one can buy, or if you just do something crazy with biscuits like leaving them out for several months. Perhaps you can contract with a pet store for the infestation of weevils you'll need to put in the hardtack.
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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)
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