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Originally Posted by Elphaba
I learned as an adult that my mother had an illegal abortion when she was in her early forties. She had already raised three girls, and her marriage was on seriously shakey grounds due to my father's infidelity. (I can't believe I am telling this to strangers).
Do I condemn her for her choice and mourn the loss of a potential sibling? Absolutely not.
Responses to this question have been in the "what if" frame. Consider the possibility that your frame might alter somewhat in the real world of your family.
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My mother had two abortions...one when she was fifteen, the other at 21 or so. The first was because, well, in 1972 nice girls didn't do "that" (have sex) and obviously it would have ruined her life. The second was because her husband at the time was dying of terminal cancer, and she was giving all of her time to nursing him.
It's never bothered me. Not at all. My mother made the decisions she had to make. What's bothered me more is my aunt suggesting that my mother's first husband would have been my father. No. We are all products of our parents--I could have only been produced by my parents in combination with one another and at the time I was conceived. Any other combination or timing would have resulted in something other than myself.