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The argument that "being yourself" doesn't work doesn't imply that you ought to change everything about you or that you're inherently a loser or a bad person.
The way I see it, when "being yourself" doesn't work it's because there are traits expressed in your attitude and behavior that women do not find attractive, or worse yet send them running for the hills. In my case, I was always way too overeager when dealing with women and I always came on too strong. Also, I was always too eager to spill out my guts for a woman that I liked so even if she liked me initially her interest in me would drop sharply.
When I started modifying my behavior towards women I didn't stop being caring or honest or respectful of women. I was still "being myself" in the sense that I never let go of the core values that define who I am and I didn't let go of the core values I hold with regards to how to treat a woman properly. But I did stop "being myself" in the sense that I learned to keep my mouth shut and not puke out my feelings for a woman right off the bat. I stopped "being myself" by taking the time to be patient and get to know women more instead of trying to rush things through. I stopped "being myself" in the sense that I didn't get caught up in the rush of emotions of the moment and took the time to determine whether a woman I'm interested in has enough interest in me to make it worth pursuing a relationship or whether I should move on to someone who's more likely to be interested in me as I am interested in her.
Does that mean I stopped being who I am and turned into a phoney? No. All it means is that I'm actively and constantly checking my behavior and the words that come out of my mouth when dealing with women so that if I meet a woman I'm interested in I won't send her running away for the hills and that I won't waste my time pining after someone who doesn't give a rat's ass about me because I'm just not her type.
Anyhow, when it comes to matters of the heart, advice/guidance in that area ought not to be sold for money.
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Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation
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