analog

So what's the deal with all these people looking to give advice on how to better your love life? Surely, there are some people who will swear that the articles they write, the books they publish, the appearances they make, really do give them the "edge" in finding what they're looking for.

If, however, we look objectively at the advice we're getting, are we really just being sold? I think so.

People looking for quick answers and easy explanations will readily latch onto anyone promising better success with "finding" a mate. They use techniques that say they will increase your confidence, strengthen your determination... but are they really doing that? Are they not just selling a book to you, that engages your mind to believe that by reading their nonsense, you will somehow be endowed with never-before-seen confidence?

If you walk out into the world, believing your confidence has been heightened by a book, are you really not the same person as you were before? Did the book just give you a "reason" to go out and try things?

The problem is, these books don't just do that. They often promote ideals that are unrealistic, or even flat-out bad for a person to adopt. While the person is hooked on the rush of confidence the book gives them, they buy into whatever is told them

Many will tell you that "being yourself" is the worst thing you can do- that if "being yourself" actually worked, you'd not be there reading the book. This further reinforces the attachment people have with the book, and the need to buy more... so they can learn to not be themselves (?).

If you're not being "yourself", then you're being something you believe others want you to be, or something you think you should be, and that's false.

Confidence is good, but creating false confidence in a person so they will then believe anything you tell them, is bad.

Many also put down the male characteristics of sensitivity and sense of humor. To say that sensitivity and sense of humor aren't responded to well, i'd say they need to stop looking at women as objects to be "gotten", or "conquered" through use of attitude changes prompted by a guy looking to sell his books, and just truly be who you are, and see how wonderful the world is.

You're never going to be happy if you believe you have to change things about yourself to "get" a woman. The biggest gripe I have is the insistance that the traits they force upon you to adopt are somehow universal, and that if you do what they say, all women will fall to their knees in your presence.

What say you all to that?