Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Why or Why Not do you Keep a TFP Journal?

roachboy · 03-27-2006, 07:33 AM

i think i do a kind of anti-journal.

i started it as a device to force myself to write every day---as a way to try to work out from under what i decided was a block.

so it started out as a kind of game but turned into not just a space in which i was trying to work my way out from under years of academic history training----which i felt had effectively pulverized my ability to write. the nineteenth century style realist narratives, the compulsive citation of Authorities, the bizarre assumption that textual representations are somehow transparent, that one stages the past in linear form, etc---this creeping sense that i would get as i wrote academic stuff that i did not recognize or even like the persona that was doing the assembling of information in the text---and that the medium itself was opaque.
the world is multidimensional: texts are not.

so it was about making a voice, paring down sentences--working with constraints/rules--making entries about making entries, sentences about sentences, arranging words and images in a block that were about arranging words and images in a block.

i got interested in seeing how far i could go.
so it took on a life of its own.
but it was mostly about itself.
a kind of dismantling of a journal while making one anyway.

then i stopped.

it was important to me that the journal was hidden, that it was hard to get to and could not be pulled up via a websearch of my real name.

at the same time, the whole thing was very much about the possibility that it was being read by someone because that assumption gave an element of something mobile to it (a reader reading) that i could direct/move around/play with.

i read a few other journals--art's most regularly, one or two others from time to time--rarely when i am not also doing stuff on mine. i noticed that lots of folk treat their journals like telephones (half a conversation) or a diary and tell stories about what happens to them. that didnt appeal to me--first because i am kinda stuck on how not transparent the form is--second because i am a kind of private person and putting straight stories up seemed to me......o i dont know.....unworkable.

lately i have been starting a new series, setting up a different game, we'll see how it plays out. i am not sure that i will keep the journal here exclusively--but we'll see. too much going on, too little time. like now.

03-27-2006, 07:33 AM	#23 (permalink)
roachboy Super Moderator Location: essex ma	i think i do a kind of anti-journal. i started it as a device to force myself to write every day---as a way to try to work out from under what i decided was a block. so it started out as a kind of game but turned into not just a space in which i was trying to work my way out from under years of academic history training----which i felt had effectively pulverized my ability to write. the nineteenth century style realist narratives, the compulsive citation of Authorities, the bizarre assumption that textual representations are somehow transparent, that one stages the past in linear form, etc---this creeping sense that i would get as i wrote academic stuff that i did not recognize or even like the persona that was doing the assembling of information in the text---and that the medium itself was opaque. the world is multidimensional: texts are not. so it was about making a voice, paring down sentences--working with constraints/rules--making entries about making entries, sentences about sentences, arranging words and images in a block that were about arranging words and images in a block. i got interested in seeing how far i could go. so it took on a life of its own. but it was mostly about itself. a kind of dismantling of a journal while making one anyway. then i stopped. it was important to me that the journal was hidden, that it was hard to get to and could not be pulled up via a websearch of my real name. at the same time, the whole thing was very much about the possibility that it was being read by someone because that assumption gave an element of something mobile to it (a reader reading) that i could direct/move around/play with. i read a few other journals--art's most regularly, one or two others from time to time--rarely when i am not also doing stuff on mine. i noticed that lots of folk treat their journals like telephones (half a conversation) or a diary and tell stories about what happens to them. that didnt appeal to me--first because i am kinda stuck on how not transparent the form is--second because i am a kind of private person and putting straight stories up seemed to me......o i dont know.....unworkable. lately i have been starting a new series, setting up a different game, we'll see how it plays out. i am not sure that i will keep the journal here exclusively--but we'll see. too much going on, too little time. like now. __________________ a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear it make you sick. -kamau brathwaite