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keyshawn · 03-24-2006, 01:12 PM

Hi,

Well, I'm looking for perspectives and comments on how I'm handling this situation.
There's quite a bit of circumstances surrounding this , so this is a pretty long post.

I own a car (1984 buick skylark for the gearheads out there) and she asked me one night last week
if she could borrow my car for the night, I obliged. Last night, she asked me again, and I said no.

The reason she wanted to use my car was because she moved from Michigan to next-door in Summer 2004
and still has expired license tags (from MIchigan) on her car. After getting a ticket for
having expired tags a few weeks ago in this same neighboring town, she no longer wants to drive
her car in that town. My sister asked me to borrow my car for the night to go hang out with a friend in a neighboring town
and possibly a bar there.

My reasons for not letting her drive my car, were a few... I don't want this
to become occuring often and becoming a slippery slope where she would use my car even more often,
(especially when I go back to school next week and during the summer when I am home)
where she would use this excuse, regardless of the town she was driving in, to drive my car
(because of fear getting pulled over again).
She's evading her responsibility (of keeping her tags current), and I thought she should compromise
one way or another
(for example either having her friend visit her instead, or travel somewhere else besides that
specific city - I mentioned these compromises the first time I lent out my car to her, to no avail).
(I admit that I did not express these the second time around, last night).

She told me that she was digusted (however, that was in the heat of the moment) with my behavior,
because I was impressing my beliefs on to her, even though we are family; and that my rationale
is not necessary, because I probably was not going anywhere that night, so my car would otherwise not
be used.
Also. she stated it would be a huge hassle to change tags (going to Michigan) and since she is leasing
the car (and I believe the lease will be up by the end of 2006); her car dealer recommended to her
that once she moved, not even to bother getting newer tags.

I was given this car by my elderly next-door neighbor who has since passed away. When this neighbor went to assisted
living, she sold the house to our family, and my parents rent it out to my sister.
I park my car in my sister's garage (it is a two-car, but the other side is filled with various
furniture and items from the deceased neighbor and from another separate sister as well).

Sorry if this is a too personal situation, but it has made me wonder of a few questions
- Should your personal beliefs be influencial in making decisions with family, and to what extent ?

Also, she and the rest of my family like to go out to eat often, and my family often asks
(especially when I am in town from school) and asks if I would like to go out to eat. It is not
that I do not like spending time with them, but I do not like going out to eat as often
as they do.

Am I worrying too much about this ? This is the first time (that I can even remember)
that I have ever had any sort of conflict with my sister (We are usually on very good terms and spend time with each other often).

(PS - Just for context, in case no one knew my age, I'm 19 and she's 28.)

catcha back on the flipside,
keyshawn

03-24-2006, 01:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
keyshawn Psycho	favors for siblings Hi, Well, I'm looking for perspectives and comments on how I'm handling this situation. There's quite a bit of circumstances surrounding this , so this is a pretty long post. I own a car (1984 buick skylark for the gearheads out there) and she asked me one night last week if she could borrow my car for the night, I obliged. Last night, she asked me again, and I said no. The reason she wanted to use my car was because she moved from Michigan to next-door in Summer 2004 and still has expired license tags (from MIchigan) on her car. After getting a ticket for having expired tags a few weeks ago in this same neighboring town, she no longer wants to drive her car in that town. My sister asked me to borrow my car for the night to go hang out with a friend in a neighboring town and possibly a bar there. My reasons for not letting her drive my car, were a few... I don't want this to become occuring often and becoming a slippery slope where she would use my car even more often, (especially when I go back to school next week and during the summer when I am home) where she would use this excuse, regardless of the town she was driving in, to drive my car (because of fear getting pulled over again). She's evading her responsibility (of keeping her tags current), and I thought she should compromise one way or another (for example either having her friend visit her instead, or travel somewhere else besides that specific city - I mentioned these compromises the first time I lent out my car to her, to no avail). (I admit that I did not express these the second time around, last night). She told me that she was digusted (however, that was in the heat of the moment) with my behavior, because I was impressing my beliefs on to her, even though we are family; and that my rationale is not necessary, because I probably was not going anywhere that night, so my car would otherwise not be used. Also. she stated it would be a huge hassle to change tags (going to Michigan) and since she is leasing the car (and I believe the lease will be up by the end of 2006); her car dealer recommended to her that once she moved, not even to bother getting newer tags. I was given this car by my elderly next-door neighbor who has since passed away. When this neighbor went to assisted living, she sold the house to our family, and my parents rent it out to my sister. I park my car in my sister's garage (it is a two-car, but the other side is filled with various furniture and items from the deceased neighbor and from another separate sister as well). Sorry if this is a too personal situation, but it has made me wonder of a few questions - Should your personal beliefs be influencial in making decisions with family, and to what extent ? Also, she and the rest of my family like to go out to eat often, and my family often asks (especially when I am in town from school) and asks if I would like to go out to eat. It is not that I do not like spending time with them, but I do not like going out to eat as often as they do. Am I worrying too much about this ? This is the first time (that I can even remember) that I have ever had any sort of conflict with my sister (We are usually on very good terms and spend time with each other often). (PS - Just for context, in case no one knew my age, I'm 19 and she's 28.) catcha back on the flipside, keyshawn __________________ currently reading: currently playing :