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I've been on both sides of this issue, albeit with different women, but I don't think there's as much black and white here as some people suppose. It's hard for an outsider to kill a healthy relationship without some pretty heavy artillery. If someone's in a committed relationship, your chances of breaking them up without some underlying problem between them are pretty close to nil. I love how people on this board love to respond in absolutes like "you're a dick if you try to break up a couple" (to paraphrase). What if the guy's likes to hit her? What if she wants kids and he doesn't? How about if he's secretly planning on pimping her out? Yeah, trying to break up a couple is usually a dick manuver but not always.
If she likes her boyfriend more than you, you're wasting your time. If she likes you more than him, then maybe you have a chance. If you get in the "friend zone", you've got a problem, but that's something completely different.
The first girl that I ever fell in love with was dating someone else when we met. By the end of the night, she wasn't dating him any more. A few years later, I was dating someone else, and after a few months, it was pretty apparent that it wasn't going anywhere but neither of us mentioned that fact. She ended up meeting someone else, and our relationship ended. Did it suck? Yes, of course, but its not like I didn't know that it wasn't coming.
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
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