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I believe I can offer some input on this topic. During my sophomore year of college, I met a very charming, beautiful girl in one of my classes. We became fast friends, and I was quite interested in the prospect of becoming more than friends. However, I soon afterwards learned that she had a boyfriend, and it happened to be a guy that I knew. They'd been together since high school. He was an alcoholic, a slacker, and generally (in my estimation) was not worthy of being with this girl. But I backed off nevertheless. Like the thread title, I didn't want to be the guy everyone else hates. I stopped the flirtiness, and basically just stuck to talking about very platonic things with this girl. I thought, maybe she'll see him for what he is, maybe she won't.
Flash forward a couple months, when I had already long buried the idea of ever getting together with this girl, and lo and behold, she broke up with him, with no prompting whatsoever from me. And now we've become engaged to be married. As she says it, she had no idea what else was out there once she escaped the rather small pond that was her high school, and that I "rescued" her.
I am not saying that there are not girls out there who are going to jump ship every time something sparkly catches their eye, but I do think that there are women (and men) in relationships that really don't do anything for them, that aren't making them happy, because they don't realize that things could be better, much better.
In the end, human emotions and relationships are complicated beasts. It's hard to give concrete advice. But I'll give it a shot. Don't hit on this girl, don't do anything overly aggressive. Just be your wonderful self, and you never know what might happen.
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