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Tophat665 · 03-21-2006, 08:06 PM

Since you want no questions, here are some answers:

Darth Vader is Luke's father. The woman in the "Crying Game" is really a man. Ole Yeller dies. In "Murder on the Orient Express" they all did it. Captain Kirk isn't really dead, he's in the Nexus; but then he dies for real later. On July 4th, we killed all the aliens by giving them a computer virus which took down their shields. Verbal is Kaiser Solteh. The North wins. The Nazi's lose. Tom Cruise screws over the firm and gets away. Jeff Bridges did kill his wife in "Jagged Edge". Galron is a shapeshifter imposter. Fortran really is dead. Harrison Ford always, always saves the day. In "Crimson Tide", Denzel Washington is right. Jim Phelps is the one who betrays the Impossible Mission team. All of the "Reservoir Dogs" die. Robert Redford hits a game-winning homer at the end of "The Natural". James Bond gets the girl. Lestat isn't really dead. Leia is Luke's sister. Henry V wins, but barely. Cousin Vinny gets the "two yutes" off, but only after Marisa Tomei's expert testimony. Richard Gear ends up with the slut in "Pretty Woman". Spock dies, then comes back to life on a planet where Kirk's son gets killed, and proceeds to help save the whales and earth by travelling back and forth in time in a Klingon ship, but doesn't get demoted for stealing the Enterprise because he wasn't there, he was dead. ET goes home. In "Blade Runner" Rachael is a replicant -- some think that Deckard may be too. Mel Gibson dies at the end of "Braveheart", but the future queen is pregnant with his kid. Sean Penn did do it in "Dead Man Walking". The Wizard of Oz is really a short, fat, bald man. Nicolas Cage dies at the end of "Leaving Las Vegas". In "Field of Dreams", "He" is Costner's father. Mr. Holland's former students play his opus in the end -- the redhead becomes governor. The Apollo 13 crew makes it back safely. Barnabus is a vampire. Al Pacino shoots and kills Robert DeNiro. In "Speed" there is a videocamera on the bus and a hole under the trash can. OJ did it. Harry marries Sally. To get to the other side. The prisoner is Pip's benefactor. Romeo and Juliet kill themselves. Either a newspaper or a half-eaten zebra. Sue Ellen's sister shot J.R. Maggie shot Mr. Burns (not on purpose). Bobby's death was just a dream (Pam's). The HAL9000 computer goes homicidal, but it isn't his fault. (Incidentally, the letters followng HAL are IBM.) There is always someone in the back seat. Jack gets old and dies. In "Terms of Endearment" Debra Winger gets cancer and dies. Bill Clinton wears briefs. Rosebud is the sled.

03-21-2006, 08:06 PM	#21 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	Since you want no questions, here are some answers: Darth Vader is Luke's father. The woman in the "Crying Game" is really a man. Ole Yeller dies. In "Murder on the Orient Express" they all did it. Captain Kirk isn't really dead, he's in the Nexus; but then he dies for real later. On July 4th, we killed all the aliens by giving them a computer virus which took down their shields. Verbal is Kaiser Solteh. The North wins. The Nazi's lose. Tom Cruise screws over the firm and gets away. Jeff Bridges did kill his wife in "Jagged Edge". Galron is a shapeshifter imposter. Fortran really is dead. Harrison Ford always, always saves the day. In "Crimson Tide", Denzel Washington is right. Jim Phelps is the one who betrays the Impossible Mission team. All of the "Reservoir Dogs" die. Robert Redford hits a game-winning homer at the end of "The Natural". James Bond gets the girl. Lestat isn't really dead. Leia is Luke's sister. Henry V wins, but barely. Cousin Vinny gets the "two yutes" off, but only after Marisa Tomei's expert testimony. Richard Gear ends up with the slut in "Pretty Woman". Spock dies, then comes back to life on a planet where Kirk's son gets killed, and proceeds to help save the whales and earth by travelling back and forth in time in a Klingon ship, but doesn't get demoted for stealing the Enterprise because he wasn't there, he was dead. ET goes home. In "Blade Runner" Rachael is a replicant -- some think that Deckard may be too. Mel Gibson dies at the end of "Braveheart", but the future queen is pregnant with his kid. Sean Penn did do it in "Dead Man Walking". The Wizard of Oz is really a short, fat, bald man. Nicolas Cage dies at the end of "Leaving Las Vegas". In "Field of Dreams", "He" is Costner's father. Mr. Holland's former students play his opus in the end -- the redhead becomes governor. The Apollo 13 crew makes it back safely. Barnabus is a vampire. Al Pacino shoots and kills Robert DeNiro. In "Speed" there is a videocamera on the bus and a hole under the trash can. OJ did it. Harry marries Sally. To get to the other side. The prisoner is Pip's benefactor. Romeo and Juliet kill themselves. Either a newspaper or a half-eaten zebra. Sue Ellen's sister shot J.R. Maggie shot Mr. Burns (not on purpose). Bobby's death was just a dream (Pam's). The HAL9000 computer goes homicidal, but it isn't his fault. (Incidentally, the letters followng HAL are IBM.) There is always someone in the back seat. Jack gets old and dies. In "Terms of Endearment" Debra Winger gets cancer and dies. Bill Clinton wears briefs. Rosebud is the sled. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.