xepherys

I feel this particular item, if it is indeed what the OP meant to say, is the most telling. I don't know whether to chalk it up to inexperience or some other issue. First of all, you can neither allow or disallow a man to get turned on. That man, himself, without serious programmatic changes cannot allow or disallow something to turn him on. Guys are turned on by what they are wired to like. Some guys like big boobs, some guys like flat chests, some guys dig redheads, some guys get a stack and a half over asians. They are going to like what they like. While most men in adulthood can control it enough to not be like the kid who can't go up to the chalkboard, it doesn't stop that inherent chemistry from working it's mojo.

Back on point, if you give your SO (male or female) the impression that you've given an okay or NOT given an okay to find something arousing, you're crusing for a world of unhappiness. That's just not how most people work. If my wife said to me, "Hun, you can't think Asian girls are cute anymore!" I'd probably nod and wonder wtf had gotten into her. If she said, "From now on, you can't look at another girls butt!" I'd think she'd lost it. I mean, I MARRIED her becuase I want to be with her. There are billions of other girls to choose from and I chose her. That alone, above everything else, should be enough to make her feel secure. In my case, I got such a woman. Feel good about yourself, and your relationship and some porn and masturbation on the side won't hurt things a bit. :-)