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wolf · 03-13-2006, 06:01 AM

Ok, there are so many things to work through here.

1. There is a definite issue with childhood.

"When I was a kid I spent at least once a week hiding in the closet while my parents fought (nothing physical just screaming and yelling), I had virtually no friends until late in highschool, I got a job when I was 16, my dad died when I was 17"

You need to deal with this. There was some obvious neglect here and even if your parents paid all sorts of attention to you, there is still a need for therapy here as your theory of positve relationships is probably out of whack. This would be why you want to get out of your marriage.

2. Getting out of your marriage:

"I really feel I have missed something, I see other women and it literally physically hurts me to think of what it might be like to touch them, to be close to them. I can’t cheat on my wife. I just couldn’t do it, but I think about it every day."

Do you really think that is what it will be like to be single? All of the women of the world will hear that you are newly divorced and will allow you to touch them, ummm not likely. This is a selfish feeling. Every married guy out there looks at other women and wonders what it would be like to touch them or have sex with them. "What would she do that my wife won't do?" Probably nothing, but that is the fantasy. Go and ask someone who is single how great it is. OK, wait, go and ask someone who is single, and doesn't want to be how they like being single, or how easy it is to find the right girl. It's not easy. There isn't going to be this huge pool of women waiting for you. True, you're 24, you're young, you've got youth on your side, but when you get lonely, when you want someone next to you, who will that be? Also don't you think if after you find this "Ms. Right" you will have the same feelings about wanting to touch every woman you see?

Staying single for the rest of your life isn't any picnic either. You need emotional companionship. You need someone to celebrate your ups and be there to help you get through the downs.

Get some couples therapy, as well as getting some 1:1 therapy for your issues.

3. Differences

"She likes romantic comedies and mystery-drama movies. I like Stupid comedy and war movies."

Congratulations! You've just described about 80% of the male/female movie likes in America. It's called compromise kiddo, check it out. So you go to a romantic comedy that she enjoys and then make her go to a stupid comedy movie. Thats how it works. My wife and I are the same way. Did I want to see Pride and Prejudice, no, but she didn't want to see Saw II, we saw both.

4. I don't even know what to call this as there are so many issues:

"I am not Christian, I do not believe in god, I will not believe in a god. If she believes in god that is fine. If her beliefs require her to openly worship that god.. or for me to do this, it is unnacceptable.
*She cannot want children, I never want children. Ever. I am too selfish to have children. I don’t like children. This world is self-destructing due to over-population and I want to do everything I can to reduce this trend, it would be completely irresponsible to have a child."

OK first off religion can help. It is a good thing to believe in something. I am not saying that you have to pick one of the Christian religions. Pick something and try it. You might just learn that the world does not revolve around you. Seriously, it doesn't. The world is not here to satisfy your needs and desires.
To say that you wouldn't be able to deal with someone openly worshiping god is a pretty ridiculous statement.

Children: this is a really immature attitude. First off, you're 24, you don't have to have kids right now. On the otherhand, kids can be amazing. Don't knock them yet.

So in your perfect world you would be a single person who is totally self absorbed who can walk around touching any woman you want without committing to them. Will have sex with women to try different ones. Perhaps when your older you will meet a Drinking, Athiest, self-loathing woman who will dote on you and your every want, allow you to look at, touch, and screw other women and who likes to have lots and lots of sex.

Good luck, call us when you meet her.

03-13-2006, 06:01 AM	#36 (permalink)
wolf Ravenous Location: Right Behind You	Ok, there are so many things to work through here. 1. There is a definite issue with childhood. "When I was a kid I spent at least once a week hiding in the closet while my parents fought (nothing physical just screaming and yelling), I had virtually no friends until late in highschool, I got a job when I was 16, my dad died when I was 17" You need to deal with this. There was some obvious neglect here and even if your parents paid all sorts of attention to you, there is still a need for therapy here as your theory of positve relationships is probably out of whack. This would be why you want to get out of your marriage. 2. Getting out of your marriage: "I really feel I have missed something, I see other women and it literally physically hurts me to think of what it might be like to touch them, to be close to them. I can’t cheat on my wife. I just couldn’t do it, but I think about it every day." Do you really think that is what it will be like to be single? All of the women of the world will hear that you are newly divorced and will allow you to touch them, ummm not likely. This is a selfish feeling. Every married guy out there looks at other women and wonders what it would be like to touch them or have sex with them. "What would she do that my wife won't do?" Probably nothing, but that is the fantasy. Go and ask someone who is single how great it is. OK, wait, go and ask someone who is single, and doesn't want to be how they like being single, or how easy it is to find the right girl. It's not easy. There isn't going to be this huge pool of women waiting for you. True, you're 24, you're young, you've got youth on your side, but when you get lonely, when you want someone next to you, who will that be? Also don't you think if after you find this "Ms. Right" you will have the same feelings about wanting to touch every woman you see? Staying single for the rest of your life isn't any picnic either. You need emotional companionship. You need someone to celebrate your ups and be there to help you get through the downs. Get some couples therapy, as well as getting some 1:1 therapy for your issues. 3. Differences "She likes romantic comedies and mystery-drama movies. I like Stupid comedy and war movies." Congratulations! You've just described about 80% of the male/female movie likes in America. It's called compromise kiddo, check it out. So you go to a romantic comedy that she enjoys and then make her go to a stupid comedy movie. Thats how it works. My wife and I are the same way. Did I want to see Pride and Prejudice, no, but she didn't want to see Saw II, we saw both. 4. I don't even know what to call this as there are so many issues: "I am not Christian, I do not believe in god, I will not believe in a god. If she believes in god that is fine. If her beliefs require her to openly worship that god.. or for me to do this, it is unnacceptable. *She cannot want children, I never want children. Ever. I am too selfish to have children. I don’t like children. This world is self-destructing due to over-population and I want to do everything I can to reduce this trend, it would be completely irresponsible to have a child." OK first off religion can help. It is a good thing to believe in something. I am not saying that you have to pick one of the Christian religions. Pick something and try it. You might just learn that the world does not revolve around you. Seriously, it doesn't. The world is not here to satisfy your needs and desires. To say that you wouldn't be able to deal with someone openly worshiping god is a pretty ridiculous statement. Children: this is a really immature attitude. First off, you're 24, you don't have to have kids right now. On the otherhand, kids can be amazing. Don't knock them yet. So in your perfect world you would be a single person who is totally self absorbed who can walk around touching any woman you want without committing to them. Will have sex with women to try different ones. Perhaps when your older you will meet a Drinking, Athiest, self-loathing woman who will dote on you and your every want, allow you to look at, touch, and screw other women and who likes to have lots and lots of sex. Good luck, call us when you meet her. __________________ Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.