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everyone says "don't be THAT guy." well, i AM that guy.
I will instantly slap your shoulder the moment you mention a sunburn.
I will tell you you deserved it when you get dumped.
I will fog up your car window and draw a huge cock and balls on it when you're not looking.
I will lag behind in the mall, pretending to be retarded, screaming for you to wait up.
I will fart loudly and violently in the elevator.
I speak openly about my masturbation habits to anyone and everyone.
I can be the most vulgar, insensitive prick you know.
But you're my friend anyways. How fuckin cool of you.
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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim
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